Last time, in the Tales of the Village Msagro…
Long-Tongue stands, swaying, upon the boulder and begins to speak...
"So, my family. You wish to hear a story. Tonight I have brought with me, the epic of our beginnings. Would you like to hear of the great ones?" She gestures to the wall grandly under the moon as the villagers nodd eagerly...
"In the beginning there was only closet. Then there was Ellen. Ellen saw the closet and saw that it was not good. So she raised her arms and said: 'let there be light!' and there was and she saw that it was good. Then Ellen said 'let there be night' and there was and she saw that it was good. Then Ellen said 'let the days be for nomming foods and the nights for nomming genitals' and it was so and she saw that it was orgasmic. Then Ellen saw the land and noted that it was flat and she said 'let there be lesbians! Let they be strong women with strong moral fiber—mmmm….fiber—and let they range in scale from lipstick, hard femme, femme, soft femme (that's me!), innocent, soft butch, artsie, butch, hard butch, boi, stone butch, bull dyke to trans men!' and it was so and she saw that it was vagina-tastic. Then Ellen saw that the world lacked flare and she said 'let there be gays! Let they range in whatever realm they may range in and let that be self explanatory because years from now the narrator of this tale will be a lesbian and not so savvy in the realm of gay men!' and it was so and she saw that it was…whatever it is.
Then She saw that the world lacked the interest of conflict and she said 'Let there be haters and homophobes and angry closet cases!' and it was so and Ellen bit her lip and said 'um…too much.'
Then Ellen saw the hate rise and she took a scoop of the mud of good gay humor and mixed it with a rib from Eddie Izard's side and created her daughter to watch over the land she had created. She called her Margaret Cho. Then Ellen in all her glory, rose above the Earth and was gone.
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